Monday, November 8, 2010


Mom said I had Night Terrors as a child. As a kid and adult I have had terrible nightmares. I was afraid of the dark for-ev-er! I used to be afraid of a lot of things, but a few years back things changed. It was a combination of Dave and Dan hiding under the stairs or trying to scare me by talking about my long time "friend'- the attic man, and coming to the realization that they are just another trial. It makes me sound like one of those crazy mormons, but I was teaching a sunday school class about Job in the list of things about him it listed restless sleep and nightmares. When I realized that the nightmares were just another test I had to be strong and face they lost much of their power. I think my perception changed and since then, very few nightmares. Weird. I know.

A month ago I had the saddest dream. It was heartbreaking really. I went to pick up Izzy from somewhere, school maybe. I don't know. You know how dreams are weird things seem normal and little info is given or needed. Everything in the dream was shadowed and dark. Most of the kids were gone. Izzy was gone. No one that was around the building knew where to find her. The streets were dirty and filled with questionable figures. Izzy was gone. Someone stole my baby. I was anxious, upset, and crying. I was so worried that some nasty pervert man had taken her. Then I woke. I was so upset I couldn't move for a minute. It had all felt so real. I almost couldn't function I was so sad. I went in and kissed both of my beautiful sleeping kids. They were safe and it was just a dream.

I felt sad for a while, but was finally able to go back to sleep. That darkness lingered even when I woke in the morning until Izzy came in and she was playful and happy.

It reminds me of what Henry B Eyring said something like this at our Stake Conference- "Perception is more important than reality, because perception makes us do things when reality could be the opposite."

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