Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Trying to Stay Calm

There are some chaotic times in life. I am trying to learn to be the calm in the storm for my family.... but then the kids do something and I turn into a dragon for a few minutes. After the crying and time out, I dry my cheeks and come out of my room to ask the kids why they cut off all their sister's hair, or put glue all over the carpet, or broke every egg in the carton and wiped it all over the kitchen floor. The self given time-out is much better behavoir for the dragon than in times past.

I find that usually I am the one who needs a few minutes to be sure I am calm and then I can address many situations logically and rationally and decide how much yelling or screaming needs to be done, which is usually none. Most of the time there is a quiet and peaceful way to work things out. Sometimes if I have gotten up upset, I stop myself, tell the kids I am sorry, and that we should say a prayer to help mommy calm down. Now that is super embarrassing to admit that I get short tempered with my kids, but it is the truth and I know I am not the only parent out there that gets angry too quick.

Parenting is harder than I ever imagined. I love it. I would never trade it for anything. Sometimes it makes me crazy. My main goal is to never let emotions explode. It is a learning experience with much trial and error, but I am making progress. Reading my scriptures and prayer seem to make the largest difference in my behavior. Also getting a break once in a while helps. This is a wonderful talk about motherhood. It is interesting how you can freak out over something then later wonder why you thought it was such a big deal. Baby steps, right? Sometimes I like to imagine there is someone in the other room, you are always a better parent when you are around other people. And think about how easy it is to change your voice when you are getting angry and then the phone rings and you answer the phone with a friendly hello..... Try to change attitude about the situation and you won't have to feel bad about your behavior.
My mom advises that when the kids are driving you crazy pretend they are someone else's, you will be nicer.

Our kids learn how to handle things in life by our example. Just something to think about.
What are the things that help you to be a better parent? What tactics do you use to keep your cool?

I am loving this blog. Tons of great ideas and info. Check it out.

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

I think the Sunday school answers have helped me the most. I have to acknowledge, every day on my knees, that I cannot be a good mother without Heavenly Father's help. I am really trying be calm, loving and stay focused on the positive, no matter what happens.

Two talks that inspired me recently:

"Great Shall Be the Peace of Thy Children" by Elder Ballard

"The Environment of Our Homes" by President Hinkley